


Cheetos Don't Belong in Peanut Butter Sandwiches

by CeruleanIntrospection



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Dyslexia, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Lots of swearing cover your ears kiddos, Through the Years, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-01-30
Packaged: 2018-09-20 19:50:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9510341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CeruleanIntrospection/pseuds/CeruleanIntrospection
Summary: Amethyst's been nothing but trouble, but Peridot's always, inexplicably stuck around her, in spite of herself and despite the girl's outrageously disgusting palate.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Something I whipped up real quick because I'm disappointed at myself for not participating in the recent Amedot bomb. You know, for as much as I love Amedot, I barely make any content for it. Just some fun, self-indulgent human AU stuff. Hope this satisfies!

Peridot was roughly five years old when two grubby hands swooped over her head and grabbed ahold of her arts and crafts project on the first day of kindergarten.

"Pfft! Your sun looks funny. There's no smiley face on it."

She twirled around in her seat to glare at the offender, pushing up bright green glasses that were far too big for her face.

"That's because the sun doesn't _have_ a face," she retorted. "Have you ever looked at the sun?"

The other girl blinked at Peridot and frowned, a chubby hand suspending the drawing in the air as the other twirled around a chunky, purple crayon. "No. Miss Quartz says that that can make you blind. Ooh!" She leaned into Peridot's face. "'S that why you have glasses? Didja look into the sun?" She dropped the paper and crayon to the floor. "Did the sun smile back atcha? I bet it didn't 'cause you're such a grump." She cackled, lunged for the glasses, and put them on, eliciting an undignified squeak out of Peridot.

"Hey!" She huffed, feeling the heat rise into her cheeks. "Give—give those back!"

The girl simply stared back at her, her mouth curling up into what Peridot could only assume was a grin. She couldn't be sure; the girl had been reduced to a blob of brown, black, and purple.

The blob shifted. "How do I look?"

Peridot scowled. "I don't _know!_ I can't see anything."

A wheezy chuckle reached her ears. "I can't see anything either. I thought glasses were supposed to make you see better!" She leaned in again and placed them back on Peridot's face with a surprising gentleness.

Peridot blinked rapidly as her vision sharpened, turning the blob into a girl once more. Her hair was dark and fairly short, some of the strands tumbling down to the nape of her neck while others stuck out sideways and upwards as if trying to fly off of her scalp. Her nose was stubby and her purple shirt was covered in crumbs. She only had one dimple, but perhaps that was because her smile was leaning towards the left side of her face; slightly crooked, just like the mouthful of teeth she was flashing at her. She slid into the seat on Peridot's right.

Peridot's shoulders stiffened. "That's not your assigned seat!" she hissed.

Her head tilted in confusion. "What's uh-sine mean?"

Peridot snatched up her paper from the floor and smoothed out the crease on the lower right corner.  "It means it's not the seat Miss Quartz told you to sit in. Now shoo."

The girl snorted. "You're funny."

Peridot's crayon hovered over her paper as she gaped at her. _"Funny?"_

She raised an eyebrow at Peridot. "You know what _uh-sine_ is but not _funny?"_

Peridot pouted. "Of course I know what funny is! But _I'm_ not funny," she said, turning her attention back to pressing blue wax onto her paper for the sky. "So don't call me that."

"But you make me laugh," the girl protested. "So you're funny. What's your name?"

"Peridot," she replied, only to be met by another snort.

"What?" she snapped. "Is my name _funny,_ too?"

"Yeah!" the girl said shamelessly. _"Per-uh-dot._ That's weird."

 _"You're_ weird," Peridot spat back.

"I know!" She grinned and pulled juice pouch and a rather squished-up baggie of tortilla chips out of her back pocket. "M'name's Amethyst," she said, tearing off the straw attached to the pouch and jabbing it through the designated hole. She then shoved the pouch in Peridot's face. "Wanna sip?"

Peridot wrinkled her nose. "No, that's gross. It touched your butt."

Amethyst shrugged. "More for me." She proceeded to dig a shard of tortilla chip out of the baggie and squeeze fruit punch onto it as Peridot looked on in horror.

_"What are you doing?"_

"Didn't bring any salsa, so I'm dippin' 'em in grape juice."

"That's repulsive."

Amethyst tilted her head to the side again. "What's—"

"Icky," Peridot clarified.

Amethyst shrugged and shoved a soggy chip into her mouth. "'S _good,"_ she said, spraying juice over Peridot's work.

Peridot dropped her crayon and gave an incoherent squeak.

"Oh—oh crap," Amethyst mumbled, staring down at the droplets of grape juice soaking into the paper. "Don't worry!" she said, leaning across the the table. "I can fix it." She vigorously rubbed her thumb over the stains, sprinkling crumbs all across the paper as she did so.

Peridot shot up. "Stop! You're just making it wor—"

"Shh! I'm fixing it!" Amethyst protested, smudging the sun.

"No! You're not!" Peridot tugged at the edge of the paper. "Just give it _back_ and—"

_Rrrrip._

Amethyst pulled at the other edge, splitting the paper in half as Peridot stumbled over her chair and unceremoniously sprawled over the carpet. She heard the resounding, high-pitched gasps of students all around the room. She stared down at the limp, juice-peppered shred of paper clenched in her hand.

Her eyes began to sting.

"Peridot?" Miss Quartz's voice fluttered melodiously over her head, but she refused to look up. "Is everything alright?"

"No," she managed weakly.

"Are you hurt?"

She bit her lip. "I—"

"She's okay," Amethyst interrupted. "She was workin' on her drawing and then I tried to fix it and she got mad an—"

"SHUT UP!" Peridot launched herself upwards and spun around to glare at Amethyst. She thrust the ripped-up paper in her face. "This is your fault! _You're—_ _stupid,"_ she spat, emphasizing each word. "Mom said someone in this class was six. That's you, isn't it? I can tell. You should be in first grade. What's wrong with you? You're _defective!"_

She stormed out of the classroom, Miss Quartz hovering uncertainly between Amethyst and Peridot, unsure which one she should deal with first.

The last thing Peridot saw as she walked out was the glare on Amethyst's face, radiating pure hatred and sending a chill down Peridot's spine.

She didn't ask Peridot what defective meant.

* * *

Peridot was nine years old when she first met Lapis.

She was the new girl, and Jasper and her gang of fifth-grade lackeys were having a sore deficit of initiation ceremonies. Peridot winced as she saw Jasper and her eyepatched crony follow Lapis into the bathroom for a swirlie.

And then she gaped as she saw the two storm out, hair soaking wet and ankles trailing behind toilet paper as Lapis walked out with a smug grin on her face.

It was the start of something beautiful.

Lapis barely talked to anyone, Peridot barely talked to anyone. They would sit by one another at lunch (or, to be more accurate, Peridot would sit next to her every day at lunch), basking in the silent glory of being antisocial fourth-graders as Peridot would squint at Lapis's hair and wonder if the tips of blue were hair chalk or not.

"They're dyed," Lapis finally informed her one day when she had been staring at her like a creep and leaving her sandwich untouched for half the lunch period.

Peridot's eyes widened in wonder. "Oh my stars. You're allowed to do that?"

"Uh." Lapis shrugged. "Yeah...?"

"Incredible," Peridot breathed. Without thinking, she reached a hand out to Lapis's bangs and promptly had it slapped away.

"Don't touch me."

"Yeah, dude. Don't touch her."

"What the—" Peridot jerked her head up to find herself face to face with the last person she had expected to make conversation with her.

There she was, lounging on the tabletop and dipping a white-frosted toaster pastry into a thermos filled with something that smelled suspiciously like and had the viscosity of tomato soup.

 _"Amethyst,"_ Peridot said, nodding curtly. "I see your palate's still as unconventional as ever."

"P-dot," she replied coolly. "See you still got a smartass mouth for a nine-year-old." She bit into the tainted pastry as Peridot looked on in shock. The worst she had ever heard out of Jasper was a "damn" shortly after her head took a trip to the toilet. Lapis appeared to be mildly impressed.

"Nice one," she muttered.

"What?" Peridot shook off her stupor and scowled. "Lapis, you're not supposed to be friends with her!" she said, slamming a hand on the table for emphasis. "She's—"

"What, _defective?_ " Amethyst snapped. Peridot shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

"That—that was four years ago," she mumbled, her face burning as Lapis raised an eyebrow at her.

Amethyst scoffed. "Yeah, four years of you being a total dink."

"You could just say dick," Lapis offered.

Amethyst shrugged. "Eh. Dink's got a better ring to it."

"Fair enough."

"Quit complimenting the enemy!" Peridot cried.

"Woah-ho." Amethyst put a palm to her chest and feigned shock. _"I'm_ the enemy now? You hear that, Lap?"

Peridot slammed the table again. "Don't listen to her! She pushed me off the monkey bars on the playground last year and broke my arm. She can't be trusted."

"Dude, you pushed yourself down," Amethyst said, swinging her legs back and forth. "Not my fault you took on Lars's dare."

"That's _entirely_ your fault!" Peridot shot back. "How was _I_ supposed to know he was joking? And what about that time you stuck a wad of gum in my hair and got a referral, hmm?"

Amethyst snickered. "It was worth seeing the stupid haircut you had to get 'cause of it."

"Stupid haircut?" Lapis piped up, her curiosity piqued.

"Lapis, what did I just say?!"

"You're not the boss of me," she said, twirling a strand of blackish-blue around her index finger. "You can't even dye your hair." Peridot wilted.

"Oh man, it was great," Amethyst butted in, drowning the last bit of her pastry into her soup. "Half of her head was bald for a month."

"You are _despicable,"_ Peridot hissed.

"Ooh, throwin' your fancy words at me again. Not gonna help you, Per. Hey, Lapis! I even got some pics of it," she said, pulling out two snapshots of a miserable-looking Peridot with a horrible undercut out of her jeans. "You wanna see?"

Lapis leaned over to look at them and suppressed a giggle. "You...keep pictures of Peridot in your back pocket?"

"Yeah! To laugh at 'em!"

Lapis smirked. "Right."

Peridot narrowed her eyes at her. "What are you implying?"

"Eh." She shrugged. "I think you'll find out eventually. Maybe in a few years. Don't say I didn't tell you so." And with that, Lapis got up and walked away.

"...Uh." Peridot blinked and turned back to the table. "She didn't even take her lunchbox with her," she muttered.

Amethyst blinked back before yanking the blue bag off of the table and hopping off. "First one to give it back to her's her new best friend!"

"Hey!" Peridot yelped as she hit her knee on the underside of the table and scrambled to get to her feet. "No fair!"

* * *

Peridot was eleven when she found Amethyst crouched in a corner of the school library, just about ready to send a bookcase toppling down on anyone who dared approach her.  


But Peridot was feeling particularly brave that day.

Not to mention that she had something to show her tucked in the back of her pocket, and she was scared she would break it if she had to sit on it one more time.

 _"Ancient Rome: A Visual History,_ " she read off the book sprawled cover-up underneath Amethyst's foot. "Is...this a _comic book?"_

"Shut the fuck up," Amethyst hissed back at her.

Peridot plopped down, careful to slide The Thing to Show Amethyst out of her pocket and gingerly place it in her lap. Amethyst didn't seem to notice.

When Peridot squinted, she could see the tear stains on her face glistening slightly. When she looked at the other books surrounding Amethyst in a crudely-formed semicircle—books on India and Greece and China—she realized each one was the part of the same "Visual History" series, with elaborately drawn kings and soldiers burning down buildings and clashing swords with one another.

"Er...if you wanna study for history, why don't you just use the textbook?"

"Shut the fuck up," came Amethyst's reply once more, now with a nasty glare thrown in for good measure.

Peridot snorted. "Well, aren't you being cooperative today."

Amethyst sighed and kicked away Rome: the comic book. "I tried, okay? I tried reading the damn book but it didn't help an' all the letters just get jumbled up every time I try to look at the pages an' none of it can get into my brain like I wanna an' I thought maybe pictures could help but even then I dunno anyone's names and every other page is some freakin' fire or war an' I dunno any of it an' everything looks the same an' I already started school late an' I can't even fuckin' read, you're right, you're right I'm a defect I'm a fuckin', godawful defect are you happy—?" She broke off at the last word and delved into a sob, burying her face in her knees. Her hair was much longer now, locks of dark brown cascading around her elbows. They danced around her erratically as her chest heaved up and down, and Peridot was captivated by them for a solid minute or two before she realized she was staring and snapped out of it. She cleared her throat.

"Look," she said, interlocking her fingers and fiddling with her thumbs, "About that defect thing..."

"What, you gonna say you didn't mean it?" Amethyst snapped, her face still buried in her knees. "I know you did. You know you did. You're not foolin' anybody."

"Well—those were _Mom's_ words," Peridot retorted, her voice becoming nearly an octave higher. "Not mine."

"Doesn't change the fact that they came outta your mouth too."

She shifted uncomfortably, fiddling with the button on The Thing in her lap. "Listen, I, uh..."

"Just spit it out."

Peridot scowled. "Ugh, why are you so _difficult?!"_ she tossed what she was holding over to Amethyst.

Amethyst finally looked up, her eyes darting from Peridot's offering to Peridot and back again. She narrowed her eyes in suspicion.

"Uh...a tape recorder?" She snorted and wiped her eyes. "What are you, a grandma? Even _my_ grandma doesn't use these."

Peridot huffed. "Just press the red button, will you?"

Amethyst obliged.

 _Log date: October 15,_ Peridot's voice announced through the recorder's speaker. It sounded even tinnier than usual. _Mom's been yelling at me to consider my friendships more carefully. She says all I do is consort with filthy delinquents. It's not becoming of a member of the Diamond family. And maybe she's right. All my acquaintances are...backwards. None of them exhibit model behavior. They—_

Amethyst jabbed the button and looked at Peridot, incredulous. "This is supposed to make me feel better?"

"Just listen to it all the way through!"

"Ugh. Fine."

_—They are all defective, without a doubt. But I'm no better. I...I don't want to listen to what she says. I didn't have a single friend until fourth grade, and I'm still not sure if Lapis even considers us more than acquaintances. I could have had a friend in kindergarten, but I managed to botch that up extraordinarily. Perhaps I was only five at the time, but I should have known better. Tact is...well, it's not my strong suit. Amethyst, I hope you understand. I want to understand. I'm sorry. Peridot, end log._

Amethyst gaped at her and Peridot felt increasingly uncomfortable with each passing moment.

"Well?"

"Well, uh." Amethyst gave a low whistle as she stared down at the tape recorder. "That was, uh, something."

"Wow, thanks."

"No, really!" Amethyst slid the recorder back over to Peridot. "I mean, _wow._ An _apology._ Didn't know you had it in ya. Y'know, to be nice and stuff—no offense."

"Offense taken," Peridot said, frowning.

Amethyst sighed. "Yeah, you're right. That came out kinda wrong." She got up and dusted off her knees, covered in leggings embedded with two poorly-sewn-on, star-shaped patches. "Look, maybe we can start over or something?"

Peridot nodded. "I would like that. Shall we start with a study session on world history?" she asked, procuring a textbook out of her backpack. "I can read the book out loud if you want."

"Wow," Amethyst muttered again, her eyes almost doubling in size. "You're being like, way too nice. It's kinda creeping me out. What is _up_ with you today?"

Peridot shot her a glare. "You know, if this whole apologizing thing means you'll be gawking at me every five seconds, I'd rather not do it again."

"Alright, alright," Amethyst said, throwing her arms up in defense. "I'll stop staring. But y'know, I like nice Peri."

Peridot attempted to give her a smile, but it came out as a stiff, awkward bend of her lips due to her sore lack of inexperience with the action. "You do?"

"Mhm." Amethyst grinned back at her, and Peridot tried to take note of how her lips parted to show her a mouthful of crooked yet brilliantly white teeth so that she could return the favor next time.

"Y'know," she continued, stretching her arms upward, "I think now's a good time for a snack break."

Peridot blinked. "What? We haven't even started yet!"

Amethyst rolled her eyes. "Fine. A warm-up snack."

"Uh...that's a thing?"

"It is if I say so."

"Right," Peridot said, dubious. She got up as well, sliding the tape recorder back into her pocket, the history textbook still clutched in her other hand. "I'm presuming we're heading over to the vending machine?"

Amethyst nodded. "Yep. Then I'm gonna go crash at the cafeteria right after. Can't have my Oreos without mustard, you feel?"

Peridot gagged. _"Pardon?"_

"Oh, come on, Per. It's not that bad, you just gotta get used to it."

"I'll stick with a bag of Chaaaps," Peridot muttered as they exited the library together.

"So...log date, huh? Is that thing your diary or something?"

"Of sorts," Peridot said with a shrug.

"Dude. You better not tell anyone else—that's like, prime blackmail material. I mean, who keeps a _recorded diary?_ Who even keeps a _diary?_ You're like, a grandma in the body of a sixth-grader."

Peridot glared at her, grumbled something incoherently, and stuffed her hands into her pockets. "Just shut up and get your Oreos."

It was the start of something beautiful.

It's just that neither of them knew it yet.

* * *

Peridot was fifteen when she hobbled through her front door with a shiner and a gloriously bloody pair of swollen lips after she had tried to claw her way out of a swirlie (really? People still did that?) on her first day of freshman year.  


She told her mother she had walked into a pole.

She was terrible at lying.

Lapis wasn't there to protect her this time; she was too busy hiding under the bleachers and sucking face with Jasper. Or something like that. _Lapis and Jasper._  Love at first swirlie. The thought made her grimace. Peridot never would have expected it. Nothing could convince her that those two weren't an awful match for one another.

In the end, her mother signed her up for private self-defense lessons.

Every Friday, she would head over to an ornate yet rather modestly sized brick house at the edge of a forest. It looked like it was straight out of a fairy tale. A cobblestone pathway, colorful roses peeking out of the windowsills, there was even a little stream flowing behind it: cold, clear water branching out into little tributaries as it meandered into the woods.

The Corundums were rich, no doubt about it. That's why her mother even had their contacts on her phone in the first place.

They were also supposedly good at fighting.

Ruby Corundum was a buff war veteran with a bad knee, a slightly greying afro, and an expression so volatile it could change from a grin to a scrunched-up scowl in less than a second.

Her wife was a bit different. Well, really different. Sapphire was the rich one, technically—when Ruby married into the Corundums, she "got in on the wealth," as Peridot's mother liked to put it. It was obvious that she preferred Sapphire far more than Ruby.

She had a slight build and had contracted an acute eye infection shortly after her birth—only one of her eyes made it in the end. The other was closed away from the world with a powder blue eyepatch that looked so delicate that Peridot was surprised Ruby's thick fingers didn't tear right through it every time she stroked it while lovingly gazing into her wife's good eye. She also happened to be particularly skilled in self-defense due to her nimble feet and her uncanny ability to guess her opponent's every move before they even struck; Ruby called it "future vision."

Peridot called it eerie.

But Peridot wasn't taking lessons from Ruby or Sapphire. She was taking lessons from their daughter.

Garnet was... _skilled,_ Peridot would admit. And encouraging. She tried to be encouraging, at least. She would lunge at Peridot, Peridot would respond with a poorly-timed dodge and end up receiving a blow to the face, and Garnet would give her a silent nod and a thumbs up as Peridot rubbed her jaw and stared at her in disbelief.

Same old, same old.

Except for this time.

This time, Peridot walked into the Corundum household and promptly dropped her water bottle to the floor as she caught sight of who was sitting at the dining table near the entrance.

Garnet was there, chewing contemplatively on a slice of buttered toast (Peridot had never seen Garnet eat before, so that in itself was a significant contribution to the shock factor). What really got her, however, was the girl sitting next to her, covering a plate of what seemed to be grapes with a generous amount of pepper.

" _Amethyst?"_

She looked up and had that goofy grin on her face once more. "Peri!" She shoved a grape into her mouth and gestured to her plate. "Want one?"

"Um...no thanks." She picked up her water bottle and headed over to the table. "You, uh—" she cleared her throat. "You _know_ each other?"

"Oh, sure. Me an' G go way back."

It was actually supposed to be _G and I,_ but Peridot decided to ignore the incorrect usage of grammar.

Heh. She was getting to be quite skilled at this "being nice" thing.

"Knew each other since we were in diapers," Amethyst continued. "My mom's friends with Ruby. Went to her wedding and everything."

"I...see."

Garnet finished her slice and got up, unfazed. "Shall we begin?"

Amethyst blinked as she swallowed a pepper-covered grape (or, rather, a chunk of pepper infused with a hint of grape) whole with a resounding pop. "Begin what?"

Peridot shook her head vigorously at Garnet and mouthed, _No! No! No!_

"Training."

Peridot slapped herself on the forehead.

"Woah." Amethyst's eyes widened in awe. "Peri, Garnet's teaching you how to punch asshats in the face? Dude, why didn't you tell me? I want in!" She turned to Garnet. "This cost anything, or...?"

"Free of charge," Garnet said with a smile, adjusting her glasses.

"Hey!" Peridot protested. "Why do _I_ have to pay, then?!"

"Because your mother insisted on payment," Garnet replied, a hint of venom in her tone. "She said it was an insult to her to take a service without paying for it like _some sort of freeloader."_

Peridot sighed. "That sounds like her."

"Dude, your mom's a fuckin' jerk."

"An elitist if I've ever seen one," Garnet agreed. "But no matter." She strode off to the training room near the back of the house. "Let's begin."

Peridot was half-expecting Amethyst to laugh at her whenever she got kicked in the jaw courtesy of Garnet.

Actually, she was 80% expecting it.

But Amethyst was surprisingly helpful.

"Don't keep your feet flat on the ground," she advised Peridot from the bench on the other side of the room. "You gotta be quick to move if you wanna stay in one piece. And keep your chin down! It'll help protect your face better."

"Er—okay," she replied, adjusting her stance accordingly. "How do you know so much about this?"

"Y'know Ruby was a boxer 'fore she was a soldier, right?" Amethyst swung her legs back and forth on the bench as she threw a punch to the air. "Taught me a few tricks. Betcha I could take on Jasper if I wanted."

Garnet shook her head. "Please don't."

Amethyst stuck her tongue out at her. "One day, G. One day she's gonna regret callin' me a runt."

"Um, hello?" Peridot interrupted, bouncing up and down in her improved fighting stance impatiently. "Can we get back to training me?"

"Sure thing!" Amethyst thrust a water bottle sitting next to her in the air. "Look alive, Peridot!"

"What the— _shit!"_ she yelped before jerking a fist forward. She squeezed her eyes shut and braced for the impact.

It never came.

She stared down at the mat underneath her, wide-eyed in shock as the water bottle clanged against her knuckles and plummeted downwards.

"I...oh my stars."

"Peri, one, water bottle, zerooo!" Amethyst hollered. She leaned back in the bench and grinned, pointing a finger gun and a wink in Peridot's direction. "You're welcome."

Garnet nodded. "Nicely done. But unfortunately, most opponents aren't one kilogram. You have to learn how to balance your weight when you attack."

"Yeah, Per! Feet down, chin up—wait, wait, shit." She shook her head. "You know what I mea... _uh."_

She faltered as Peridot threw a grin her way, her lips fluidly parting open to reveal her neon green braces. Four years of studying Amethyst's smile had finally paid off.

"I know exactly what you mean," she said before turning back to Garnet.

* * *

Peridot was seventeen when she tore across I-95 at the breakneck speed of 45 miles per hour.  


She was a rebel.

It was three in the morning and her mother was fast asleep. It was the only time of day Peridot could ever feel free.

Before she got her license, she would resort to sneaking out to the backyard, plopping down onto the grass, and venting about life (mainly the shocking amount of classism her mother expressed that became more and more prevalent to Peridot day after day) via voice recorder logs.

But then she had walked into Lapis after a date with Jasper had gone particularly awry and she had ended up destroying it.

She apologized profusely, of course—and Peridot forgave her, of course. And then Amethyst dragged them all over to her house for a marathon of the Dogcopter movies, three pints of neapolitan ice cream, and a "you're better off without her" pep talk directed at Lapis.

But she still missed clicking the little button and releasing her pent-up frustrations into the speaker and the audience of stars twinkling up above her.

So when the yellow-green Fiat came along as a gift for her sixteenth birthday, Peridot was more than eager to take it out for a few (i.e., several) spins around town. The stale smell of gasoline and the wind whipping through her hair made her feel unstoppable.

Just so long as she was in the acceptable speed limit. Or far, far, below it. Better safe than sorry.

Her braces were long gone (and thank the stars for that), but her glasses still remained. Her vision seemed to be steadily declining every year, but she figured that Camp Pining Hearts marathons were well worth a new prescription every time she paid a visit to her (understandably disappointed) ophthalmologist. Perhaps her priorities seemed skewed to others, but, as Amethyst would always remind her, "Per, you only live once."

A soft chuckle escaped her as she gently pushed on the gas pedal. Amethyst. Perhaps Lapis gave her a run for her money, but Amethyst still managed to be the strangest person Peridot had ever met—but not in a bad way, per se.

She briefly looked out the window, breathing in the night air and sighing contentedly. It was like she could almost see Amethyst's stocky figure ambling along in the distance, one foot dragging behind the other as she held onto railing of the bridge Peridot was driving over, her messy hair fluttering behind her as...

...Wait.

_Shit._

Peridot's heart skipped a beat or ten as she swerved through the (thankfully, mostly empty) roads and skidded to a halt near the railing. She hopped out, gave the car door a resounding slam, and ran up to her.

It was her, right? It had to be her.

Her hair was no longer dark brown, now shining a brilliant, unnatural white in the moonlight and bouncing wildly with even the softest of steps. Peridot bet not many people had hair like that.

Her voice remained an ugly lump in her throat for a few seconds before she forced it out.

"Amethyst!"

"That's m'name," Peridot heard her mutter hoarsely as she continued to stumble along. She didn't look back.

"Amethyst!" Nothing. She grunted in frustration and grabbed her by the shoulder, and then she finally turned around.

And then Peridot's heart skipped a beat or thirty and it was a miracle she didn't go into cardiac arrest.

A large scratch covered Amethyst's left cheek, red and angry and, by the looks of it, still fresh. Four minor scratches were scattered over her forehead, plus one more on that stubby nose of hers. One of her eyes was exceptionally purple and swollen, but a light smile was on her face. It looked more like the ghost of a smile than an actual smile, though. Her one, open eye was glassy and faintly pinkish around the rims.

"Per! Didn' expect to see ya..." She frowned. "There." She quickly returned to her eerie ghost smile. "Heh! That rhymes."

Peridot could only look on in horror.

"...Holy _shit,_ you're drunk."

Amethyst scoffed. "Oh, I'm doin' great, Per, thanks for askin'." She wobbled slightly as she planted her hand against the railing. "How 'bout you?"

Peridot scrunched up her face as the musty scent of alcohol wafted into her nostrils. "How did you even buy that stuff, anyways? You're three years under the age limit."

Amethyst shrugged asymmetrically with one shoulder. "Wallet," she explained elaborately, waving a hand in the air.

She narrowed her eyes at her in disbelief. _"...Wallet."_

"Yeah, like I took Garnet's ID an' I, like...got a bottle an' junk. Cashier was too tired to notice."

"And what, they smashed the bottle over your head?" Peridot asked, incredulous.

"Wha?" Amethyst blinked. "No man."

"Then explain this," Peridot said, pointing to her left eye.

"Heh. That's your eye. Pretty eye, at that." Amethyst attempted to wink, but it came off as a poorly executed blink.

"Uh!" Peridot's face burned. _She's drunk,_ she reminded herself, relaxing her shoulders. _Drunk off her ass. She doesn't mean it._ She cleared her throat. "I, er, meant your eye, Amethyst."

"Ohhhh." Amethyst's mouth dropped open like she'd had some sort of revelation. "Y'mean this thingie. Ah, it's nothin'. Got into a blowup with El Tigre," she said, the 'r' much softer and slurred than Spanish warranted.

"El Tigre?"

"Y'know. Jasper. Jasp. Jaz. Jazz hands." She took her hand off the railing and proceeded to wiggle her fingers around to demonstrate—it lasted for approximately two seconds before she almost crashed down into the concrete. Peridot grabbed ahold of her shoulders just in time. Amethyst blinked in confusion momentarily before giving a grin that Peridot could only describe as sickly.

"This the part where I lean in to smooch ya?"

Peridot groaned and yanked her by the arm to the Fiat. "Get. In the car. _Now."_

Amethyst gladly obliged and slid shamelessly into the frontmost passenger seat. Peridot had to buckle her in. She rubbed the plush seat cushions and whistled appreciatively. "Nice digs. So where we goin', Captain?"

"To the pharmacy," she said, keying the engine. "To get you an ice pack. And get your feet off the dashboard, will you?"

"Heyyyy," Amethyst protested, lowering her feet. "I don't need no ice pack."

 _"Yes,_ you _do!_ " Peridot felt a lump building up in her throat just as she was about to put a foot down on the gas. "You always kept talking about beating up Jasper, but I didn't know you'd actually be stupid enough to go and do it! Do you want a death sentence or something?!"

"Yeah, maybe I _do,_ Per!"

Peridot froze, her fingers glued to the steering wheel, her foot hovering a few inches above the gas pedal. Amethyst's mouth snapped shut as soon as she realized what she had said.

"I—fuck. Fuck," she muttered, looking right at Peridot. "I didn' mean that, Per, I..." she bit her lip as her good eye started leaking water. "Fuck. Peridot. I'm so sorry," she whispered hoarsely.

"What?! No, don't apologize!" Peridot sighed, drumming her fingers on the steering wheel. "Life can...admittedly be overhwhelming sometimes." She blinked. "Well, most of the time. All of the time. And maybe sometimes we don't deal with it in the best way. But that _still_ doesn't mean you should go out and inebriate yourself and provoke Jasper in order to—"

"You have no idea what she said."

Peridot blinked again before narrowing her eyes in suspicion. "And what _did_ she say?"

"That I—" Amethyst inhaled sharply before clamping a trembling hand down with the other on her knee. "That I'm a failure. That the only reason I'm still livin' with my parents is 'cause they have low standards. I'm a fuckin' mistake and I can't even fuckin' drive 'cause I can't even read the goddamn street signs without the letters gettin' all scrambled up and I'm so, so, fuckin' stupid an' you're so smart I don't even know why you're friends with me I—"

"Shut up."

"I..." Amethyst faltered. "Wha?"

"Shut. _Up,"_ Peridot clarified once more. "Who cares if reading's not your strong suit? You're an _amazing_ dancer and an _incredible_ fighter. My expansive vocabulary doesn't exactly make up for my noodle arms, Amethyst."

That got a weak chuckle out of her. That was more than enough for Peridot.

"And as for being friends with you, that was my decision entirely. I don't care what old _Jazz Hands_ says. You know, I almost feel sorry for her, in a way. She's too clouded by her anger and superiority complex to see how undeniably terrific you are. Amethyst...I admire you. You're—you're brave, and strong, and caring, and—"

Her face burned as she cut herself off just in time.

_And beautiful._

Amethyst looked at her. "And...?"

"What—? I—" She cleared her throat, her eyes darting back and forth nervously. "You're just great, okay?!" she snapped as Amethyst gave her a grin that seemed much less under the influence of alcohol than it had a few minutes ago. 

Peridot felt freer than she had ever been.

"We need to get you cleaned up," she said, finally pressing her foot against the gas pedal. "Are you hungry?"

Amethyst considered this. "Now that you mention it, yeah."

Peridot nodded firmly. "Then we'll get you something to eat, too." She snorted. "My culinary skills, at best, are a peanut butter sandwich."

Amethyst chuckled. "That doesn't sound too bad, actually. Y'know, maybe if you slide in some Cheetos in between the bread..."

Peridot giggled. _"Gross."_

"You never know until you try it."

"I'll pass," Peridot said as they pulled up in front of the pharmacy. "Cheetos don't belong in peanut butter sandwiches."

* * *

Peridot was eighteen when her mother kicked her out.  


She had walked in on Amethyst sneaking in to visit Peridot, saw the two lying side-by-side in the same bed, had gotten the wrong idea, and the rest was history.

She didn't tell Amethyst, of course. She just said that she had hastily explained to her mother that no, Amethyst and her were only friends, and no, she was _not_ dating or having sex with a delinquent (her mother's words, _not_ Peridot's), and she got off easy with a one month prohibition of television/the Internet.

The former half was true. The latter half was not.

Kiiro Diamond had tossed her aside, not believing a word of her daughter's pleas.

Perhaps it didn't help that Peridot had blown up in the middle and called her a clod.

At least she had allowed her to take some money with her for the road.

She spent her first night in the cheapest motel she could find, intially being surprisingly good at feigning calm over the storm churning inside of her. She methodically marched up the stairs to her room, set her suitcase right next to the television stand, and headed to the bathroom to freshen up, stony-faced the entire time.

And then she saw a cockroach skittering across the floor as she stepped out of the shower and just fucking lost it.

She was a sobbing mess as she sprawled her body across her bed, wearing nothing but a bra and boxers. Snot dripped down from her nostrils as her phone vibrated on her nightstand. She grabbed it and wiped through her blurred vision.

 **[lapis]:** hey

 **[lapis]:** amethyst said you got grounded

 **[lapis]:** which i dont get since youre eight fuckin teen but

 **[lapis]:** you alright

Peridot sat up and leaned back against the wall, swiping at her snot. _Was_ she alright?

 **[you]:** hell no

She most certainly was not.

The texting session quickly turned into a video chat; not that Peridot complained. She was more than happy to see Lapis's face again. Her hair was now entirely dyed, a messy shock of electric blue that refused to be tamed by any brush or curler. It was roughly two-thirty in the morning when the chat finally ended. They had made two arrangements:

1) Peridot would be staying at Lapis's apartment; she was, under no circumstances, to lay even a pinky finger near the goldfish, aptly named Killer and Bruiser, since they were delicate creatures and Peridot was clumsy beyond belief (okay, perhaps they had made three arrangements).

2) Amethyst was not to hear a word about this. At _all._ She would be devastated to find out it was her fault Peridot got kicked out. Even though it clearly wasn't.

She couldn't sleep at all, so she just leaned against the wall, half-naked and awaiting the first rays of dawn so she could grab some complimentary breakfast (she may have been well-off, but she _certainly_  wasn't squanderous), head to her Fiat, and hightail it out of this place.

It was around five when her phone started vibrating incessantly.

 **[amethyst]** **has sent 1 image**

 **[amethyst]:** chocolate dipped in mayo

 **[amethyst]:** knew it would gross u out so i took a pic just 4 u ;)

 **[amethyst]:** ...

 **[amethyst]:** dude im really sorry u got grounded. ik its my fault

 **[amethyst]:** but hey its 1 month!! just 29 more days to go!! u got this!!

 **[amethyst]:** i promise ill never sneak in again i dont want u to get in any more trouble than u already have

 **[amethyst]:** stay strong 4 me k??

 **[amethyst]:** peridot...i admire u

Peridot wished she could say the same for herself.

* * *

Peridot was twenty when Amethyst found out.  


It had honestly been a miracle she had scraped by for two years without Amethyst noticing. Lapis had made a habit of peering through the eyehole (honestly, if it weren't for Peridot, she probably wouldn't have given a shit; any potential robbers would just end up taking a trip to Lapis's toilet for the dunking of a lifetime from the Swirlie Queen. And besides, Peridot wasn't going to brag or anything, but...she was going to brag—her self-defense skills would certainly prove to be a useful asset as well) before opening the door. They had made up a code of sorts: thumbs-up if it wasn't Amethyst on the other side, thumbs-down if it was, and a shit-eating grin if it was the pizza delivery girl.

It was less of a miracle that Peridot had gotten a scholarship (well, several, actually, but it wasn't like she could attend fifteen engineering schools at once). Everyone had seen that coming. Valedictorian for all four years of high school and co-leader of the robotics club ("leader" looked better on resumes, frankly, but regrettably, Pearl was just as crucial of a member to the team as Peridot was. Don't tell her she said that) certainly meant something to colleges, after all. In the end, she chose her local college. A fine place with an excellent biotechnology program.

She was done with the whole elitist lifestyle, anyhow.

And so Peridot would go to college in the daytime, come back to marathon Camp Pining Hearts with Lapis (and hear her complain about being an art major) in the nighttime, and occasionally go on outings with Amethyst to the movie theater or the local donut shop. She started living a little. She wore mismatched socks and left the top button loose on her flannels ("wild," Lapis had commented). She went to the pet store once after class got out and came back to her apartment five hours later with a tiny calico kitten fast asleep in her arms (Lapis didn't take too kindly to that, but she quickly warmed up to the animal as soon as Peridot reluctantly gave in to naming her "Purridot"). She even walked in one day with a shock of dyed blonde surrounding her head instead of the usual black. Lapis expressed her approval through a thumbs-up and an offering of a pizza slice with extra olives, just how Peridot liked it.

Life was good.

Except for when it stopped being good.

Which, of course, was all Peridot's fault.

She was on a date with Amethyst—not a _date_ date, per se, but a date. They were shoveling Chinese takeout into their mouths on a bench in the park as they watched the sun set.

"Hey Per, you believe in fortune cookies?"

"What?" Peridot averted her gaze from the sky and frowned. "Of course not. They're all so vague."

Amethyst nodded. "Mmm. Let's see what this one says." She proceeded to crack open the cookie. "Alright." She cleared her throat and squinted. "Ennnjoy...the god luck a compansion brings you."

"Uh...Amethyst? A compansion is the reduction of a noise created by the signal of an electronic device."

Amethyst scoffed and handed her the piece of paper. "Alright, Walking Dictionary. You gotta admit I did better than usual, though, right?"

Peridot chuckled. "Of course you did. I'm proud of you."

Amethyst beamed before tucking into her noodles once more. "So, what does it say?" she asked in between bites.

"Hmm..." Peridot inspected the slip. "It says, _Enjoy the good luck a companion brings you._ See?" she said, rolling her eyes. _"Vague."_

"Vague but applicable," Amethyst pointed out.

Peridot could feel the heat rising up into her cheeks as her mouth curled up into a goofy grin. "Wow...thanks."

Amethyst gave a painless slug to Peridot's arm. "So how's school, shortstack?"

Peridot grimaced. "Too much work. My procrastination skills are going through the roof."

"Any all-nighters yet?"

She snorted. "Is that even a question?"

"Heh. Fair enough. Just look after yourself, mmkay?"

"I will as long as you swear yourself off of alcohol."

"Yikes." Amethyst wrinkled her nose. "Don't worry, dude. I'm never gonna do that again. Learned my lesson three years ago. And also when I saw Jasper drunk off her ass as she stumbled over to her dorm room." She cackled as Peridot nearly spit out a chunk of bok choy.

"No way. _Jasper_ goes to your college?"

"You better believe it. Makes the hour long drive from here to Ocean Town totally worth it. Oh, and my roommate's pretty sweet too. You remember Kiki, right? Chick from the pizza place?"

Peridot furrowed her brows. "The one with the giant anchovy as its logo?"

"That's the one."

"Hmm. _Kiki."_

Amethyst's face split into a devious grin. "Don't tell me you're jealous."

 _"What?_ If you honestly expect me to stoop so _low_ as to senselessly hate on—"

"Boop!" Amethyst gently poked Peridot's nose with her pair of chopsticks. "Totally jealous."

Peridot sputtered and shoved the chopsticks away. "Stop!"

"You know you love me," Amethyst announced, scraping a carrot from the bottom of her carton and popping it into her mouth. "So, who's your dorm buddy, P-pod? Betcha I'm gonna be crazy jealous over 'em. Uh—Peri?"

Peridot froze up.

She had a roommate.

But she did _not_ have a dorm buddy.

Not to mention that said roommate had told Amethyst _several_ times that she was living by herself while Peridot hid in the closet, waiting out Amethyst's visits in a cramped room that smelled like mothballs, stale pizza, and Greek Seaside Febreze.

"I, uh..." she faltered. "You see, my dormmate is, uh..." she tried again.

"Yeah?"

"Uh...nonexistent?" Her voice rose an entire octave at the last syllable.

Amethyst gaped before grinning again. "No way, you got a whole room to yourself?"

Peridot shifted uncomfortably on the bench. "Er...not exactly. I—I, uh..."

"Peri?" Amethyst grin fell flat as she shoved her empty carton of takeout aside. "You okay? You—you can tell me anything, y'know that, right?"

Peridot exhaled sharply. "I _know,"_ she said, feeling the pressure building up behind her eyes. "That's why I wish I did."

"What? Are you keeping something from me? C'mon. Spill."

"I—okay." She took a deep breath. "Just please don't be mad at me. Or yourself."

Amethyst frowned. "Peri, I _swear_ if someone hurt you—"

"Mom kicked me out."

Amethyst shot up, scattering a flock of rather alarmed sparrows in the process. "What the _fuck?!_ Since when?"

"Since that one day she caught us in my room."

She sat back down and sighed. "I knew it. I fucking knew it."

"Amethyst, please—"

"You got kicked out of your fucking home 'cause of me. I dunno what that feels like, but that sounds fucking _awful."_

"Amethyst—"

"And it's all my fault. It's all my fault like it always is. You got hurt and I just fucking said 'sorry for being grounded' and just moved on with life like you don't matter and—"

_"Amethyst!"_

"Is that what you _want,_ Peridot? You don't want me to care about you?" She jerked her head up to glare at her. "Is that why you're pallin' it up with Lapis and trying to _ditch_ me?"

"No! I—wait, how do you know about Lapis?"

"I saw your flannel draped over her couch one night."

Peridot gave an indignant squeak. "Lapis wears flannel!"

"Really? Neon green flannel with an alien patch sewn on the pocket?"

"...Okay, fine. _Fine._ So I'm living with her! What's your problem?!"

"I don't care if you're living with her! You can bang her senseless on her mattress every night for all I care!"

"Amethyst, what the _fuck—"_

"I just care that you didn't _tell_ me! 'Cause I care just as much as Lapis does." She clenched her fists. "But I guess you don't think so, do you?"

Peridot felt a nasty, sinking sensation in her chest. "No...I just didn't want you to know because—"

"Goodbye, Perisnot," Amethyst snapped, launching herself off the bench. "Talk to you never."

Peridot got her first speeding ticket that day on the way back from the park.

She was two miles over the limit.

Just her shitty luck.

She stormed back into the apartment and slammed the remains of her dinner on the kitchen counter. Lapis looked up from the television and raised an eyebrow, frowning slightly.

"I'm guessing college didn't go too well?"

"Oh, college went _great,_ " Peridot spat back. "Just the aftermath that hurts like hell."

"...Amethyst?"

Peridot nodded. "She found out."

Lapis sighed. "Figured she would sooner or later."

"She went ballistic. Thought I didn't tell her because I didn't care about her enough." She sighed. "I don't wanna talk about it anymore. I brought back some lo mein if you want any," she said, retreating into her room.

When Peridot got up at three to use the bathroom, the lo mein was still untouched. She glanced around furtively before approaching it and sniffing the contents inside.

"Still good," she muttered wearily, ready to place it in the fridge when she stumbled and tripped over a fuzzy blob of white, brown, and black. Purridot gave a resounding yowl as Peridot winced and got back to her feet (at least she didn't have to worry about the cat waking up Lapis, though. That girl slept like the dead).

That's when she spotted the fortune cookie.

She had fell right on top of it as the contents of her takeout carton spilled out onto the floor. All that remained was a crumbly, beige husk and a small slip of paper. She picked it up and squinted into the darkness.

_Change can hurt, but it leads a path to something better._

Then she promptly threw it in the garbage.

She had never believed in fortune cookies.

* * *

Peridot was twenty-one when she bumped into her at the local coffee shop.  


She could tell because she had asked the (very confused, understandably) barista to dump potato chips into her frappuccino.

Plus, her silvery mane of hair was quite hard to miss.

Amethyst herself had always been hard to miss for Peridot.

She would have talked to her, but her voice felt like an ugly lump in her throat, just like it had back when they when Peridot was seventeen and she was eighteen and exceptionally drunk.

She settled for burying her face into her turtleneck and mumbling out an order of hibiscus tea.

Everything hurt.

She chose to sit outside despite the bitter cold because it meant that she would be alone.

Alone, because Lapis was home sick today.

Alone, just like she was at school fifteen years ago.

Alone, just like she deserved to be.

She pinched the bridge of her nose and tried to fight back tears. She didn't try hard enough.

They came rolling down her cheeks, stinging viciously. She almost didn't notice the drink being placed on her table.

She also almost didn't notice the sticky note attached to it, scrawled in messy pen with "d's" in all the places the "b's" should be, and vice versa. Her breath hitched as she traced a trembling finger over the letters. After she translated it all too quickly in her head, it read:

_bought ur drink 4 u. hope the sun smiles @ u today so u'll stop being such a grump_

_-xoxo ur compansion_

She wasn't sure if the last line was a joke or not, but she didn't care. She launched herself upwards, determined to find her no matter what it took.

"Hey, _rude!_ At least drink it first. That cost $3.99, y'know."

All Peridot could do was gape at her like a dying fish.

"Woah, hey." Amethyst walked up to her. "Per...oh, shit, Per. Please don't cry. You're gonna make me cry, too."

"I missed you," was all she could manage to choke out before wrapping her arms around her.

She could hear Amethyst sniff as she buried her face into her chest.

"I know, dude," she said, her voice barely a whisper. "I missed you too. I'm such a goddamn dink. I'm sorry."

"It was my fault, though. Shouldn't've lied to you."

"You did it 'cause you cared about me. I get that now. I never shoulda just up an' ditched you like that. God fuckin' dammit." Amethyst pulled away to brush a tear from her eye as Peridot took in another breath of the chilly city air and exhaled it, a puff of whitish smoke snaking out of her lips. Amethyst shifted uncomfortably.

"Hey, Per...I know this is gonna sound weird and I'm gonna sound like a sappy little shit but the more time I spent being away from you..." She cleared her throat. "The more I realized that I, uh, well—"

She was cut off by the taste of Peridot's mint chapstick colliding with her powdered sugar lip gloss. Now _she_ was the one gaping like a dead fish as Peridot pulled back.

"Er—" She could feel the panic rising up in her chest as she twiddled with her thumbs. "Was that, uh...too straightforward?"

Apparently it wasn't, Peridot noted as she felt the taste of powdered sugar on her lips once more.

_Change can hurt, but it leads a path to something better._

Peridot was twenty-one when she realized that she was head over heels in love and there was no going back.

She was fine with that.

**Author's Note:**

> "Kiiro": literally means "yellow" in Japanese. I'm so creative.
> 
> Amethyst is headcanoned as dyslexic here! Also, the "log date" is October 15 because that's when Too Far first aired officially (or as I like to call it, "The Christening of Amedot").
> 
> I was going to split this up into chapters but I felt like it worked better as one chunk, even if it is a bit long. As always, comments and thoughts and such are very much appreciated. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!!


End file.
